Time in the in between has been sweet. Closing up the chapter at my previous church and greatly anticipating the next one at the new. My family and I find ourselves in the “in-between.” We are calling it our “holiday” to sound fancy. In a couple more weeks, we both start back at work. Me a new job and Sara working remote for her current. And a ONE year old (can’t believe that already) crawling/walking around.
We’ve seen both sides of our family. Callianne has seen more places to sleep in 2 weeks than she has in a year. But, as you can see, she’s loving every bit of it. It’s such a joy to watch this little nugget take in everything and love on her family. She loves to be the center of the party for sure (she gets that from her Dad…).
I know our family’s season is unique and lends itself to rest and fun, but what about you? How are you recharging this season? Find some time and enjoy some fun things with your family and friends. I know I’ll look back on these times with a lot of fondness as we embark on a new journey that will take our family to the other end of the country. We cannot wait to call So-Cal our new home!
It’s not me, it’s you. Well, it used to be me too until I realized that the only reason I was the way you were is because we had such a close relationship. But I know that’s what you wanted, me to mirror you. You tried to make me into who you wanted me to be instead of letting me be who I really am. Not cool, Negativity. Not cool.
And besides, it’s not just how you treated me but how you treated others. And you went behind my back and started dating others too. Like, so many others! Even people I knew! Even some in my own family! How dare you! As if you didn’t think I would figure out. But I did. I kept seeing some hints in some of my family and friends and it took me by surprise at first. Sadly, many of them are still overcome by your magnetism. They don’t see that you’re a phony, yet. I’ll keep trying to tell them! You can’t have them because I love them and my love for them is self-less unlike yours. You greedy little thing!
You see, my dear Negativity (insert sarcasm here), there’s someone else. She’s not at all like you. She knows the truth. She wants me to be “me.” She’s not tearing apart every little thing. She’s not pessimistic. Do we disagree at times, yes. Some moments aren’t quite so happy with her but the great thing is that she doesn’t hold a grudge and always speaks the truth. She loves and takes delight in the small things, rather than criticize like you. I could go on and on, but fine I’ll just tell you her name already. Her name is JOY. And she’s quite a catch.
I’m sorry this breakup note is so mean, but you’re mean. And you’ve blinded me for so long. And you continue to blind so many of my friends and family. But I’ll get them back! Me and my new relationship with Joy will spread the love that this world needs. I don’t care if you try and stop me. You can try but you’ve made me mad enough that I will stop at nothing to make sure everyone knows about your infidelity and toxicity. So get ready.
Again, it’s not me, it’s you. All you. I know I’ll be seeing you around, mainly because you “get around” with everybody. But me and Joy, we are going to spread the love we both know we are capable of like wildfire. You’re more like a cancer. So, farewell for now. Don’t let me see you. Get away from my friends and family. And go back to where you came from. Peace out.
P.S. Joy is warmer than you. Also, keep all my old stuff, Joy is making me new stuff each day.
Before Callianne was born, I had many thoughts, as anyone would. My main anxiety was easy and I could tell you instantly = sleep! It’s not even that I need a lot of it. I never take naps, get up early, and stay up late… But for some reason the idea of losing tons of sleep gave me nervous diarrhea (probably was just the buffalo chicken sandwich I ate that one time… TMI!).
I think what made that my main anxiety was what I read in some of the books I tried to brush up on before her arrival. They called it the “Zombie Stage” and the sheer thought of it terrified me, and I even like zombie movies.
The Wife to The Rescue
As with I’m sure any newborn, the first couple weeks are a blur. You are trying to figure each other out and just survive and keep them alive. Then one day my wife changed my life (she’s done that numerous times). She told me “Callie is going on a schedule 1st thing tomorrow.” In my mind I thought, “there’s no way that crazy girl can be ‘scheduled.’” BOY WAS I WRONG and thank you Jesus that I was.
Within 2 days Sara had this girl sleeping like clockwork each time the schedule told us to. And eating as well. It didn’t cut down on crying (if there is such a magic potion I’ll sell my liver for it) but it made a world of difference. It was like we suddenly had a life again!
The ultimate test came from Callianne’s first road trip to my in-laws this past weekend. They have a lake house and we love being on the water. Naturally, we want to introduce Callie to water and boat rides so it’s pleasant for all of us. But I had this thought in my mind that her schedule would be impossible to keep. Again, I was wrong (seems to be a common theme lately).
We didn’t neglect going on the boat. If it was her nap time, we swaddled her and let her sleep on the boat. We stuck as close as we could to her schedule and IT WORKED! She slept great each night and although her Grandpa woke her up the first morning (which caused me to almost go into psycho dad mode), it went pretty smooth. You can see from the pictures below, we had a great time!
Putting our newborn on a schedule is the best decision we ever made. I have seen too many parents who allow their kids to dictate their schedule and I thought this was going to be our life too. Thank God for my wife who saved us from that. If I’ve learned anything it’s that: newborns CAN be put on a schedule, sleep DOES still happen, Daddy is USUALLY wrong, and when family is around it’s important to LET GO AND LET GRANDMA!
And since we didn’t have to worry about her getting enough sleep or eating due to her schedule, we were able to make memories like this:
Staring today, she starts her 2 month old schedule. Already she’s doing great with it. The thing that’s great about her new routine, she gets to hang out with Daddy the most in the mornings since she starts earlier! Boom.
P.S. if you want to know what book Sara found the schedules in, here it is.
I’ve been blogging now for a year. It’s hard to believe it’s been a year already. A blog is something I’ve always considered doing and wanted to do but just never did it (did you track with me there lol). I love talking about leadership which was the focus of my website for a long time. But as you can see now, I changed the entire name of my website. Why? Because I’m ready to just blog on life.
Becoming a dad just a couple short months ago has changed my perspective on what really matters. And on what I want to be “known” for. The focus is now on the legacy I want to leave as a man who follows Jesus. Not that it wasn’t before but before I wanted to be known as a leadership guru. That ambition has evolved into just wanting to be known as a good man who loved Jesus by loving others well. And that starts with my family, which has grown as of 2 months ago.
The New Focus
The new focus of this blog will be as simple as that = it’s a blog. It’s a blog/journey of my life as a follower of Jesus, a husband, a daddy, a CrossFitter, and more. While the focus is changing, my heart remains the same. I want to share my story. I want you to laugh. I want you and I to both be encouraged by one another. I want to help families (and dads like myself). I want myself and other dads to be able to function well. I want to simply write my thoughts, reflections, and insights in hopes of encouraging and uplifting someone else. So, that’s where the new focus will be.
The reason I went with The Functional Dad’s Journey is best described using CrossFit. See, CrossFit as a fitness movement is solely focused on functional fitness. Not show muscles but functional ones that can actually DO stuff. That’s why I like it so much. Well, when thinking of a blog direction for this new ambition, CrossFit came to mind. I want that same mentality for this blog = functional fatherhood. Here’s where I’ll write how I’m being functional as a dad. Lessons I’m learning, things I do right, lots I do wrong, and more are all going to be on here.
Being the functional Dad allows for the enjoyment of life and being a husband/father. You’ll see product reviews for the things I’m using to stay functional. Some of you really like when I post WOD’s (workouts of the day) so those will occasionally make an appearance. I’ll mainly blog about my experiences and the lessons I’m learning. Strap it, this will be fun!
One last thing, and I really mean this, THANK YOU for subscribing and following this journey.
At the time of writing this, we will be induced to have our baby girl tomorrow morning. A common question we keep getting asked, and rightly so, is “Are you ready?”
This question can evoke arrogance (of course I’m ready) or cowardice (I have no idea and not sure what I got myself into). But I believe the truth is rarely found in the extremes. Rather, I think there’s a happy middle.
Truth is, I don’t know if I’m ready. Why? Because I’ve never experienced this before. And I believe you can’t be 100% ready for something you’ve never experienced. BUT, you can prepare! Prepare being the key word.
Preparation: thehappy middle
I think preparation is different than “being ready.” Preparing the best you can for a huge, life-altering event is wise. For me, it involves reading books and confiding in a few trusted people. Many offer opinions, we as a culture are great at that. But a very select few offer encouragement and will patiently wait to offer their thoughts.
For me, preparing is doing what I can to be as “ready” as possible for something I’ve never before experienced. It takes discipline and a curious heart. It’s not being lazy and just “figuring it out along the way.” It’s proactive due diligence.
Preparing also leaves room for learning. If you’re “ready” then you assume you know all there is to know. That’s folly. But if you’re prepared it leaves room for the welcomed advice or help of others (rarely the unsolicited advice people are good at giving). Being prepared requires a willing humility from us.
Truthfully, it’s hard for me to admit I’m not “ready.” I like control and I know my entire world is about to be rocked when we welcome this sweet girl into the world tomorrow. And, if she’s at all like her daddy, she’ll not want to be controlled either. But losing my death grip on control is a step forward in my faith walk with Jesus. I know there will be lots to learn and it never stops. But I welcome it all!
So, should you ask, NO I’m not ready. But I’m getting as prepared as I possibly can be! And I have a secret weapon: the Holy Spirit. He will guide and direct my and Sara’s steps, pending we submit to His leading.
How are you allowing yourself to prepare for things you’ve never experienced?
Being in quarantine has made all of us get pretty creative in a hurry on how we engage people. One way it’s impacted me is to start a video blog as well, called a “vlog” to partner with my blog on here. I like to write about fitness but often it’s a lot easier to talk about those in more of a video format, so you can see examples. And as I’m learning how to better engage people digitally, I formed a new ambition to help people get fit, and laugh a lot, on YouTube! I want everyone to see that they can get fit, even if they don’t have “gym” equipment! And for those learning CrossFit like me, I want to show them my journey in hopes it can encourage them as we grow together.
As you’re stuck at home like me, it can be a time to hit our eating and fitness goals. And it can be a time to laugh and be creative! I encourage all of you who read my blog to keep praying, learning, and growing! We will get through this together. I’m keeping my heart and mind open to God’s leading and that’s where the idea for a YouTube channel came in. I hope you enjoy it.
Here’s a link to my first vlog post below. This is just a start but I’m going to do a lot more of these with some more instruction, especially during quarantine. If you guys want to go to my YouTube channel and hit “subscribe” that would be amazing! Another blog post coming here soon, as well as another “vlog” video.
One of my favorite things to talk about regarding my past is bull riding. To me it’s a normal thing but when I mention it to others I love taking in their reaction. Sometimes they give me a look that I can tell they are questioning my sanity and wondering if I’m stable mentally. I prefer not to answer that question… This story has come out many times but it typically comes out when people ask me how I became a Christian. Let me explain…
So, how did you become a Christian?
When people discover that I’m a pastor at a local church they will typically ask me how I became a follower of Jesus and what led me to become a pastor. Truthfully, bull riding played an integral part in both of those decisions. I didn’t grow up in a very “Christian” like household so I’m not really your typical preacher story. To be honest, I kind of like it that way. Knowing exactly what it’s like to not have any “religious” background has worked to my advantage in breaking the status quo churches often have that handicaps their vision of reaching the world.
I became a follower of Jesus after I met a couple guys riding at a local rodeo that just seemed so different to me. When they fell off their bulls, even if they didn’t make the 8-second buzzer, they always knelt down and prayed. It intrigued me so I asked them about it… Uh oh! Before I knew it one of them was calling me every Tuesday to ask how I was doing and to “pray” with me over the phone. It was so weird at first but I kept on letting it happen. There was something that wowed me about a guy calling to take the time and pray for me. But that’s what followers of Jesus do; they care for others.
It didn’t take long before I accepted Jesus into my life and started asking Him what He wanted me to do with my life. Through a very long journey I discovered it was to go into ministry but it’s even more than that. I know Jesus wants me to help people develop in life and leadership in a powerful way. And, bull riding taught me a lot of lessons that has really helped me chase my ambitions, stay faithful in my walk with Jesus, and be disciplined. Here’s a few lessons the rodeo arena has taught me that I’ll never let go…
What I’ve learned from riding bulls
1. Get your head right! You cannot climb on the back of a 2,000 pound angry animal and not have your head in the game. Mind over matter is essential to survival as you ride bulls. I think that’s why I can focus so hard on something; I’ve cultivated that when I knew my life was on the line every weekend I climbed onto a bull. When you do something as if your life depended on it, the results can be staggering and world changing! Get your head in the game; get your head right.
2. Focus on technique! You probably can’t look at a guy riding a bull and realize the technique behind all that madness. Heck, I did a high-school science fair project on the technique of bull riding. Not saying it was a good project but there’s a ton of technique in staying on top that bull. You must hone that technique through practice, feedback, and learning from others. That’s why I’m always so eager to learn. When you can constantly perfect and hone your technique the results will show up.
3. Don’t be a sissy! That lesson may sound insensitive but it’s vital to our survival in life and leadership. You have to be tough and see things through. Too often we seek the easy way out. Well there’s no “easy” way to do the rodeo life. It takes guts, hard work, and bravery. The same principle applies to life and leadership. Step up, know it will take guts, and just go for it! No backing down and no giving up!
4. Know your “why!” If you don’t know why you’re riding bulls, when you get injured you will surely give up. It’s not “if” you get injured, it’s “when” in bull riding. The same exact thing applies to life and leadership. If you want to lead and chase an ambition you WILL end up getting burned, hurt, or even stomped on. If you don’t know why you do what you do, you’ll give up. You MUST know your “why” and lean into that when the going gets tough. I remember many wrecks from an encounter with a bull that I had to remember why I wanted to keep riding. I was chasing my passion to win that buckle.
Those are just a few lessons I’ve learned that have really stuck with me over the years. You have your own lessons you’ve learned in life. Hopefully those four I just listed are encouraging to you and make you think. When I take the time to think about my journey to bull riding, to following Jesus, and to my life’s plan it sends shivers down my spine. Truth is, God always had a plan for me. Thankfully He never gave up chasing after me even when I didn’t want Him to. It gives great joy to tell you that the same goes for you as well!
What lessons have you learned in life? Better question: How can you use your life to grow and help others grow? There’s so much satisfaction in leveraging your life for the good of others. I’ll share more lessons I’ve learned from my past in future posts. This was just on my heart to share today.
Welcome back to this fun series I’ll be doing every now and then called, “You Might Be A …” In this series I’ll take each number on the Enneagram, mix in some humor (of course), and help guide us to knowing how and why we respond to certain things. For today, we have our “Loyalists.” SIXES are our Loyalists. So the question is = what’s it like being a Six? Disclaimer: I married a 6… #bestdecisionever Well, you might be a “6” if…
You might be a “6” if:
People love having you on their team
You can always count on a 6. You will never up and leave, you are in it for the long haul. A redeemed 6 can somehow combine traditions with the readiness to take on new paths… The rest of us wish we could do this; but for 6’s it’s a lot easier. A good, solid Six is cooperative, reliable, and a great team player. You are highly productive and you will be asked to take on more responsibility. You can handle it, even though your inner voice is screaming that you can’t or already planning what “could” go wrong. The truth is, you’re anxious about success. You long for certainty which you don’t find often and this can lead to anxiety. People love how creative you are and how you can analyze, problem solve, and predict what will go wrong before it even happens. Be careful that you don’t become too much of a “devil’s advocate” though.
You might be a “6” if:
You can rise to great courage
People often joke about how you fear everything. In fact, there’s a lot of people who mistakenly label themselves as Sixes just because they have anxiety. But you are capable of going beyond the anxiety and rising to tremendous courage. People look up to you because you are so courageous. They wonder what your secret is… Your secret is that you have had to grapple with fear all your life and at some point you get tired of fear winning so you decide to take courage. You have a constant back and forth from analyzing all the things that could go wrong with what could go right. Your list of what could go wrong is always longer. That’s why it’s so impressive when you rise to courage and why you have the greatest courage out of ALL the other types on the Enneagram. Keep it up.
Here’s a funny example from my wife about how you can be so courageous but doubt at the same time: We took a trip to California this Spring for a church leadership conference and then some vacation. During our vacation portion, we decided to get tattoos. They are our very first tattoos so it was a brand-new experience for us. Through the entire process I watched Sara have such courage about the experience and such confidence in knowing exactly what she wanted to get. Me, I was a mess trying to figure out the “absolute best” possible choice for my tattoo. And already planning for my next one. My wife was so confident and sure.
Soon as we were done getting our tattoos and got into the car to head back to the hotel, she immediately became anxious that she would “get into trouble” with her parents. She’s a grown woman but the thought of her parents being upset frightened her. So much that literally the next day she was on the phone admitting it to them! But guess what her tattoo says? It’s a great reminder for her every day = FEAR NOT! Ha! Such a beautiful picture of a 6’s back and forth with fear and courage.
You might be a “6” if:
You never really feel “secure”
Your eternal quest is for security and safety. The photo at the top of this post is an accurate picture of what you would like your home security system to be like so you can see every possible angle an intruder would come. Fear is at the core of many of your decisions. Know that at times you tend to procrastinate and just allow the anxiety to build and build. Those you dearly love may become agitated because they want you to just take the first step. But what your loved ones must remember is to ALWAYS validate your feelings! Your quest for security is why faith in Jesus is so appealing to many 6’s, and rightfully so. Jesus promised His followers to “Always be with them until the end of the age.” This is a promise straight to the heart of a Six. If you follow Jesus, remember that truth!
You might be a “6” if:
You have been told you worry too much
When someone says to you, “Don’t worry about it, it will all work out” you just want to immediately throat chop them. To those who don’t live in their fears as much as you they may not get the big deal. They may have a hard time understanding how a person can have as many concerns as you do. They may even call you pessimistic. What you would love from them is simply empathy to acknowledge your fear and not poke fun at it. Something you can grow towards is not allowing your fear to paralyze you to where you simply don’t take action. If you can conquer your anxiety and rise to courage, you will succeed and your life will be marked by more than fear. A path to growth for you and your fears is to “name” them! When you can put a name to the things that hold you captive, you can identify them and begin to rise above. My wife has a list of what she calls her “I Know” statements that give her that courage when fear creeps in. The world needs more redeemed 6’s even if they are the most common type among the Enneagram. What’s uncommon is truly redeemed 6’s.
You gotta love the Sixes!
I’m pretty partial to 6’s since I married one. With my personality type, that was the best decision I could have made! 6’s possess the most courage than any other type since they have lived through every fear. When a Six is growing and breaking free from their fear, watch out because the world is about to change! Sixes make workplaces better, church a place you want to be, and family a warm and encouraging environment. Thank God for our beloved Sixes!
Think you might be a Six? You can take a free test here.
Welcome back to this fun series I’ll be doing every now and then called, “You Might Be A …” In this series I’ll take each number on the Enneagram, mix in some humor (of course), and help guide us to knowing how and why we respond to certain things. For today, we have our “Reforming Ones.” Ones are our Perfectionists. So the question is = what’s it like being a One? Well, you might be a “1” if…
You might be a “1” if:
You get things done and it turns out great
Everyone loves a good, solid One on their team. You are the people who are going to get things done and do them right. You are the one that, when you’re healthy, will bring out the best in others and push others. They see you doing your job so well that they are excited to do it well with you. Whether it’s family, work, or an organization you volunteer for you make it better because of your inner drive for perfection. It’s not necessarily a bad thing (although it can be if it spins out of control) but you have a deep desire to be perfect and to have others pursue their very best. The temptation is that sometimes you think your “best” is what everyone else’s “best” should be… Tread softly.
You might be a “1” if:
You feel court is always in session
Let’s be honest, you’re kind of hard on yourself (and sometimes others). You feel like your inner court is always in session. You are your own persecutor, judge, and defender. As a child, you probably learned to meet your parents expectations as to not be punished or to win their approval. You’re driven by a longing for a true, just, and moral world. Sometimes the fact that the world is so unjust makes you very angry; you are in the “gut triad” after all. I’m an “8” which is also in the gut triad so I get that drive for justice! As a One, you are not afraid to fight for what’s right and pursue what’s right. Keep it up because the world needs more people like you!
You might be a “1” if:
You’re accused of being a micro-manager or “nit picker”
Alright, full disclosure, this one may sting a little. The unique thing about each Enneagram number is there is some hard truths lodged inside of each personality. Sometimes you already have a very specific idea for how something should be done that you don’t leave any room for somebody else to be creative. You may ask what someone thinks but you already have the “right” answer pre-packaged and ready to go. Same goes with projects you may hand off to others. You already know how it should be done. People know that you have a strong view of how something should be done so they learn to just wait because you’re going to do it your way anyways. Thus, you have earned the title of: micro-manager.
The truth is, some people need managed more than others. But in reality, you need to learn to back off and let others do it their way even if they fail. And remember, what looks like a failure in your eyes could actually be a huge success after all.
You might be a “1” if:
You have been labeled a “workaholic”
Here’s another one that might sting a little. You like to work, A LOT! Perhaps if you searched enough you would realize that deep down, you feel as if you’ll be punished if you don’t hit a certain number of hours in the office or if you don’t get a certain number of projects done at home. Or you feel like others aren’t pulling their weight so you have to pick up their slack which causes you to work longer hours. You may wish everyone else would work longer hours so you didn’t have to. What you must realize is that their fewer hours could very well be more effective and productive than your longer hours. The reality is, you probably don’t need to be “doing” all the stuff you’re currently doing. Let some things go even if it means they won’t get done. There may be someone else waiting to get that “thing” done but you’re holding onto it too tightly. That’s not always the case but please don’t hold other people to your standards, they will never make it.
You gotta love the Ones!
They call you Reformers and Perfectionists for a reason. Without you, things may still get done but be very sloppy and disorganized. I LOVE having Ones on my team. When healthy, they push me to a new level of quality in my work. I know that when I work with a One I won’t be able to get away with half-hearted work. I love that accountability. I hope you are encouraged by this post. I also hope that some of these hard truths sink deep and cause you to reflect and move towards personal growth.
If you follow Jesus, Paul was a One. If you know anything about Paul you are VERY glad he was a One. His drive for perfection is what planted tons of first century churches and the reason we have so many amazing letters on the Christian faith. He’s a prime example of the powerful impact a healthy One can have on the world and in other people’s lives. Paul mentored many young leaders (they make great mentors when healthy) and empowered others to make a difference. You can do the same!
Think you might be a One? You can take a free test here.
Yes you read that right. Bull riding. As promised in my original blog post, I would elaborate more on this in the future. See, I used to ride bulls. Not really for fun but for sport. I wanted to make it big, go pro, and win the buckle. Bull riding holds a very special place in my heart even thought it’s been many years since I sat on the back of one. Now I know what you’re asking…
How on earthdidyou get started in bull riding?
It truly wasn’t that hard. Around my 13th birthday I made it known that I had this big ambition to ride a bull. Word got around and a week later I sat on top of my first ever bull. It only cost me $15 and signing a waiver of course. I think my Dad was more nervous than I was. My Mom didn’t even come because I’m pretty sure she was living in denial for the first several months of my riding career.
That day I put on some borrowed rodeo chaps, a protective vest, and a helmet and nodded my head for the very first time. I really can’t tell you what made me want to ride bulls other than the fact that it was a challenge; and now I know my personality type is “The Challenger” so it seems like a natural fit.
So, what happened after that?
Adrenaline = my best friend!
Needless to say I was hooked from day one. The energy in a rodeo arena is vastly different when you’re behind the chutes and the one actually riding these animals. Soon as I dusted myself off from my first ride, which lasted a whopping 3 seconds, I made a vow that I would make a living doing this.
That night started a 6-year journey to try and make it big by the time a graduated high school. My entire life’s purpose was to be a professional bull rider. I would watch my ride tapes (when tapes were a thing) over and over to perfect my riding form. I was all in. I even dressed the part, something I’m not proud of now because of many embarrassing pictures as proof of how dorky I was. At school I looked like I was heading to a rodeo. I went to school in Ohio but dressed like I worked a ranch in Texas. The part of your locker that’s supposed to hold books was cleared out as a safe for my prized and very expensive cowboy hat. I know, you’re judging me right? I don’t blame you.
So, what happened?
Well needless to say I was never “pro” caliber. I did win every now and then and would often walk away with some prize money. But I never won a buckle; ever! Came close, but many injuries and trips to the emergency room kept me from ever getting the 1st place buckle.
Around year 2 of riding I met some guys who impacted my life forever. Remember earlier how I said rodeo held a special place in my heart? Well they were the reason. We will get into that journey in a future post. To summarize, these young men mentored me and showed me how an honorable man with integrity lives. They also introduced me to Jesus; who I had not really thought about before and had very wrong views of. That journey led me to preaching my first ever sermon at a rodeo arena, to signing up to go to college for preaching and leadership, to entering ministry, to developing leaders, to meeting my wife, to me discovering my truest self.
That’s a lot to just summarize but I’m sure you all have stories of your own and it’s hard to summarize your story. We will go into more detail at a later post, in which I would love it if you would share your current journey to self-discovery. That’s why we are all here. To encourage and help one another! That’s why I built this website. Let’s talk more about that later. For right now, maybe you could answer these closing questions and leave a comment below:
What journey do you find yourself on right now? Are you excited about that journey?