Parenting: a Partner Dance

Photo by Scott Broome on Unsplash

My Mom was a single mother. I’ve grown to respect that but not until recently did I actually realize how much extra a single parent carries. Oh my goodness! I’m pretty sure single parents have a lot more square footage in Heaven!

Venturing out on this parenting journey, I’m quickly realizing that my desire to “do it all myself” simply will not work. It’s hard to admit but I’m not even capable of doing it myself. Parenting is such a partner dance. It can be messy and we step on each other’s toes. Or it can be a beautiful dance where we’re perfectly in sync. And the realty = it’s never one or the other, it’s a mixture of both!

One of my failures is always trying to be the hero. Why is that a failure? Because I’m human and lack the humility to realize that sometimes (often) I’m not the hero. I don’t have to be the hero of every story. It stinks to admit, by often my wife is the hero swooping in and calming everyone down.

I’m learning more and more about how parenting is a 2-person dance. Below are some of the ways I’m seeing it play out for us.

  • Feeding Callianne. I get to help feed her and when she doesn’t eat for me, Sara takes over. We share this instead of making it exclusively Mommy’s time. We heard many shame those who “bottle feed” and it’s really too bad. Bottle feeding is amazing and helps others be able to help. Nothing wrong with either way in our opinion.
  • Freaking out! Everything’s new to Callianne so everything’s a shock. A everything’s an emergency. Sometimes, she can become such a handful that I need to just walk away. It took me several weeks (and still to this day it’s hard) to just walk away. Everyone stays sane when that happens because we can all cool down.
  • Time together. We heard some couples say they didn’t take a date night until a year after their baby was born! No, that would not work for us! It was 2-weeks and we left Callie with “Grams T” (my Mom) and went out. As parents, we feel like we need our time together to remain strong.
  • Sleep! My biggest anxiety was not getting sleep. We were lucky enough to be blessed with a pretty good little sleeper. But the key for Callianne was when, at 4 weeks, we graduated her to her own room to sleep alone. The Owlet brand sleep sock and a video monitor gives us the peace of mind to sleep soundly without her in our room. But we both had to come to that decision.

Those are just a couple ways I’m learning this dance. We are learning to lean on one another daily. Anyways, thanks for reading.

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