Have you ever tried to express love to someone only to find that your efforts weren’t appreciate? Or that maybe they don’t reciprocate love to you in the way that means the most? Why is that? Well, it could be that you’re speaking very different “love languages.”
There’s a book out there called “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman that will greatly help clarify the type of love language you speak. What means the most to you? What type of love languages do those you love speak and want spoken to them? Discovering one’s love language opens up an entire new realm of understanding. For loved ones, new romances. For those you share other relationships with, more appreciation and the feeling of being valued.
What Love Languages Do
When you speak someone’s love language, it makes deposits into their love bank. It “fills their cup” so to speak. It also leads to welcomed influence in that person’s life. Think about it, if you speak hard truths to somebody you’ve spent no time loving well, it doesn’t translate very well. But, if you have made those deposits into their love bank, it’s a whole new story.
I believe the Enneagram is a great tool to help us speak each other’s love language. The more you understand the person you’re trying to love, the better you can know how to love them well… See what I’m saying?
Love languages also help us live out Jesus’ words in John 13: 34-35 which all Christians should have tattooed on their hearts at all times: “A new command I give you, love one another as I have loved you. By this they will know you are my disciples, if you love one another.” Well said Jesus! Well said!
Why don’t we do this?
So this begs the question: If love languages are so great, why don’t more people try and speak them? Short answer = because it takes work! And when we value trying to push our own vision or goals over loving well, we neglect the hard work to discovering how to love others well. But it’s work that must be done!
Here’s a challenge for you this week: learn yours and other’s love language. You can find the resources in the book referenced above. Or, since they’re so popular, any Google search. Then do the hard work of beginning to speak them! Making deposits into other’s love bank is work worth doing! Let’s get started today.